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The Nightmares have a tradition of orchestrating a Mess Night immediately prior to detaching part of the squadron (or booting out an old, used-up CO). On 17 May the Nightmares observed both events with a traditional evening of formal buffoonery at the Shilo. After the standard fare of invocations, guest introductions, fines and dinner, the CO reenlisted a Staff Sergeant and launched into a speech and a roast of deserving Nightmares. The CO spoke for two hours, but nobody fell asleep.... 
The following happy scenes are from our 17 May Mess Night 
Members of the Mess 
Where the bad actors sit.... 
SNCO's at the head table 
How the CO accumulated over 4,000 flight hours... 
Cocktail Hour 
The Maintenance Chief and trouble.... 
Wall Flowers? 
CO with President of the Mess 
Cow with Zieg and Grouper 
Reenlisting a great Staff NCO at Mess Night 
The owner of Jimmy Dee's and the CO of the Blacksheep 
Boeing Contract Avionics Tech Rep, Top Luke, receives thanks 
Gunny P: "...narrow eyes and sneaky as a weasel...." 
The cruel Vice President of the Mess 
Chunks, Steroid & Screech 
Lurch issues another energetic howl...hold the scotch! Hero and the CO perform a skit: "Why the CO is REALLY leaving..." 
"Gunny Grouchy" lays down the law... SCENE I (FEB 2001) The CO is sitting at his desk with his feet up, when Gunny Goudy appears at the door, standing at attention… GY: “Sir,
permission to speak with the CO?” CO: “Hi Gunny
Goudy, how’s life?” [Gunny walks up to the CO's desk and stands at loose attention] GY: “Sir, I’ve
got a problem, the MMCO’s in my shit!
He wants to know when I’m comin’ to work, when I’m goin’ to lunch and
when I’m gonna secure.” CO: “Well, that
sounds reasonable…” [Goudy interrupts, cutting him off in mid-sentence] GY: “And how much
longer am I’m gonna have to carry that gimp Rodenkirk?!!” CO: “Well Gunny,
I…” [Goudy interrupts again] GY: “Sir, what do
you see happening in your career after this tour?” CO: “Hmmmmm, after
a 24 month tour, perhaps the timing might be right for me to be considered for the
MAG-13 CO job…” GY: [As he
executes an about face, he calls over his shoulder] “Stick with me Skipper and
the Group is yours!” SCENE II (JUL 2001) The CO is seated at his desk as Gunny Goudy strolls in with a spit cup in his hand. He sits himself down in the chair facing the CO GY: “Skipper,
you’ve got a problem.” CO: “What’s
wrong Gunny?” GY: “The AMO is
in my shit. He wants me to explain the
AMRR entries and he has fucked-up ideas about work shifts in MY maintenance
department!” CO: “Hey Gunny,
do you know anything about my tour being shortened to 17 months?” GY: “Sir, if you
don’t keep these amateurs out of my shit, your next tour will be in East
Bumfuck!” [He throws his spit cup at the CO’s feet and storms out] SCENE III (SEP 2001) The CO stands up as Gunny Goudy storms in, taking time to
light a cigarette before sitting himself down in front of the CO. He blows smoke in the CO's
direction as he
absently waves the CO to sit down… CO: “Hi Gunny,
can I get you an ash tray?” GY: “Cow, do you
think that FRANZAK is short naturally, or did his parents stop feeding him as
soon as he started to talk?” CO: “Problems…?” GY: “He’s in my
shit Cow and you need to unfuck it ASAP!” CO: “Exactly
what…” GY: “Listen! He doesn’t know shit! Hell, if he has as much time in the Harrier
as he does writing e-mail and taking pictures of himself, he must be a fuckin’
ACE!” CO: “Gunny…” GY: “Listen
Bovine, unfuck this mess or your next set of orders will be for three years and
they’ll be signed “GOUDY” [He throws his cigarette at the CO’s feet and storms
out] SCENE IV (MAY 2002) The CO walks in as Gunny Goudy lounges in a chair, smoking a
cigarette. Cow stands for a bit as
Gunny sits and puffs, not noticing him. The CO shifts nervously from side to side
waiting for the Gunny to recognize his presence. CO: “Uh, Gunny, sorry to disturb you, but the Sergeant
Major said that you wanted to see me?” GY: “Yeah, you’re
late…sit down Cow, the XO’s in my shit again!” CO: “That
bastard! I told him to steer
clear! What this time?” GY: “He double
parked me and I had to ride to lunch in Perkins’ piece of shit!” CO: “Where were
you parking?” GY: “Next to
you—he still doesn’t get it!” CO: “I’ll call
PMO…” GY: “Listen,
there are worse orders than Pakistan—how would you like to be MAG XO?” CO: “No,
please! I’ll square-away the XO
immediately!” [CO turns and heads out at a trot] GY: “Don’t let
the door hit you in the ass!” THE END 
"Gunny Grouchy" receives a heartfelt thank-you from the CO for his exceptional professionalism and candid advice. <><><><><><><><><><><><> Some images were lost...sadly, not all of them! 
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